Fantasy Football Sucks Cause I’m Bad At It

Today I’d like to introduce all of you to a feature I’d like to do a few times a month - my fantasy team in review. For now, an introduction:

I care a lot about fantasy baseball, probably because baseball is #1a on my list of favorite sports (football/futbol/soccer being #1b). Also, it’s freakin’ silly how good I am at fantasy baseball. Yahoo gives me an 88% game performance percentage for fantasy baseball. I don’t know what that means, but I know Jose has a 64% game performance percentage. ¡Comaselo, amigo!

My fellow Shockey Brigaders and I are in two leagues together this year. The league we care about is a head-to-head full keeper league with a minor league system and a salary cap, in it’s first season.

My usual strategy is to spend the bulk of my salary (or the early picks of my draft) on good-hitting infielders and top starting pitchers, and try to put together an outfield that can get hits here and there. This usually results in me finishing top 3 in pitching categories and mid-to-low in hitting categories. Week-to-week, head-to-head I usually lead in most pitching categories, but I only win outright when my outfielders do better than expected.

Here’s a rundown of my team:

Russell Martin, c - Good, expensive catcher.
Adrian Gonzalez, 1b - 15 home runs and 44 RBIs are both 2nd among first basemen, good for a 14th round pick.
Rickie Weeks, 2b - His 7 home runs help at second base, but with a .202 average I doubt he’ll end up being worth $8.
David Wright, 3b - My #1 pick. Not wowed by the season he’s having but certainly nothing to complain about.
Miguel Tejada, ss - Pleasantly surprised. Will probably do worse in the second half.
Manny Ramirez, of - Rough May, but how many of your fantasy players caught a ball and high-fived a fan while smoking a joint and eating a hot dog, and still doubled the guy off first?
Andre Ethier, of - .309/.374/.451 for a $1 player I got after the draft, but certainly not the best 2nd outfielder in our league.
Justin Upton, of - Another Free Agent pickup. Pretty bad all month (.311 slugging %), but I was wooed by PECOTA.
Adam Jones, of - Hasn’t done much so far. Again, PECOTA got me overexcited. But he’s 22 with a lot of potential, so why not.
Carlos Pena, 1b - Hey ‘Los. You hit, like, 75 home runs last year, right? Fine, 4 home runs, 15 RBIs and a .260 batting average in May is probably all I should hope for. But .231/.338/.430 is really bothering me for a guy who costs $22.
Jeremy Hermida, of - Eh.
Brad Hawpe, of - YIKES! .231/.349/.357. Had hopes he’d compliment Manny in the outfield.

Brandon Webb, sp - Worth the $33.
Scott Kazmir, sp - I forgot to start him this week (oops), but I’m happy after 5 starts.
Ben Sheets, sp - An early BABIP around .230 probably wasn’t going to hold up. He’s been regressing to the mean with 36 hits in his last 28.1 innings, but he’s still done pretty well his last couple starts.
Johnny Cueto, sp - I was man-crushing hard on this guy before the season. He’s been, well, not so good. But I won’t give up on him until Dusty Baker goes Prior and Wood on him and Volquez.
Ian Kennedy, sp - UUUUGGGGH! That’s the fantasy owner in me. The Yankees fan has faith he’ll be a good pitcher. But it’s been miserable to watch so far.
Joba Chamberlain, sp/rp - Can’t wait for next week, but one heartbreak is enough for me. If his June looks like Cueto’s April I’ll cry like a little girl.
Mariano Rivera, rp - What’s not to love?
Joakim Soria, rp - 11 saves, 0.56 WHIP… I’ll take it!
Huston Street, rp - I needed some saves. He’s technically my worst closer, but I’m 5th in total saves and fine with that.

So there it is. I’m 82-60-10 - good for 2nd place but just $5 under the salary cap. My pitching is where I want it to be but I’m overachieving a bit offensively (worse total numbers than head-to-head numbers). We’ll see if the offensive downturn continues - and frankly, I expect it to - but if things get really bad through June I’m fine with trying to re-tool for next year.

Most of our readers are probably in one of several leagues I’m in, but what do the rest of you think? Is my pitching good enough to carry me through the season? If my offensive struggles get worse, is it worth it to bail and try to build around the younger outfielders? And how bad is my outfield, anyway???

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