Gino Pisses Me Off
After the Celtics won I had a decidedly more negative reaction than my friend Jose. The next day I was spared the scenes of celebration from another Boston championship by Tiger’s announcement that he’s out for the season. Well, spared until I saw an ESPN.com headline: “Simmons: For One Special Night, All Was Well in Beantown”.
Uggggh.
So in the smoky downstairs bar of Summer’s Restaurant, I wrote an angry, nonsensical anti-Boston rant on my blackberry over a beer and a cigarette (HatGuy would be proud).
The next day I read it and decided that my beer and nicotine-fueled rant would probably alienate me from my many pro-Boston friends, and that’d I’d rather not be a sore loser.
Regardless, I have to write something. So here are five reasons I hope Boston is done winning championships:
1 - Bill Belichick doesn’t deserve any more. He’s got three, and he’s a douchebag.
2 - Boston celebrations are getting worse. When the Sox won a few years ago, the city erupted, and Manny carried a clever sign. Maybe a little too clever… Anyway, when the Celtics won the other day, all we got was a little flower pot tipping? What is that??
3 - Fair-weather Boston fans. Okay, I’m a Yankees fan. Obviously there are a ton of fair-weather Yankees fans. But I can’t stand sitting in a bar in DC listening to some drunk girl in a Boston hat yell “Go Sawx” while she tries to mask her North Carolina accent in a flood of Guinness and a lack of r’s.
4 - Boston teams are just so fucking charming! First it was Cowboy Up, then the more ironic, “The Idiots” - oh how loveably un-loveable they were. The recent trend seems to be moving towards dancing. First we saw Papelbon dancing, and now Gino. Gino?? Why Gino? Why not any of the other idiots in that video. Or why that video at all??? Whatever the reason, I’m thankful that I only came across this phenomenon recently.
5 - Bill Simmons, are you finished yet? Okay, I understand that ESPN feels the need to have a columnist devoted to the greatness that is Boston sports and their fans. I’m really glad for three years we got to hear how gloriously miserable it was to love teams that always lost. Now that we get to hear how gloriously glorious victory is… well, it’s gotten old. What set me off was that headline: “Simmons: For One Special Night, All Was Well in Beantown“. ONE NIGHT?!?! I can think of at least 125 nights last year between the Sox and Patriots alone when things were awesome in Boston. Now throw in the Celtics, Harvard and BC football, New England Revolution, Boston Latin Girl’s Basketball and Somerville Chess Club, and you’ve got a lot of great nights.
Lastly, I’d like to thank Jeremy Shockey for his enduring teamsmanship during the Super Bowl that enabled the Giants to beat the Pats, and for his continued commitment to the NFL’s next dynasty.
4 Comments
David on June 20th, 2008
As a Boston fan myself can i also say Fuck Bill Simmons? Before the Red Sox won he would write about how Boston fans would struggle to deal with winning, yada yada yada. As far as i can see most Boston fans, except him, are dealing with it the same way that all other fans of winning programs do: arrogance. So I’m sick and tired of this woe is us mentality when we have the best run team in MLB, the best run team in the NFL and lucked in to one hell of a basketball team this year. We also have a well run NHL team, who he wont talk about until they are on the verge of making an upset.
So I, as a New Englander, in solidarity with my New York Brethren, say FUCK BILL SIMMONS!
David on June 20th, 2008
And another thing: when you claim to be Boston’s first sports fan you cant only talk about the town’s marquee franchise 3 or 4 times during a championship season, all of which you make snide remarks and general criticism of the way the team is run, and then pretend to jump for joy about how well the team is run when they win the championship at the end of the year.
Note to Bill: the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics are good, you dont have to try and distort this fact to be taken seriously as a writer.
I’ll get to the content of Derek’s post later, i’m fairly sure the rest of it is a bunch of crap.
Derek on June 20th, 2008
This is why we love David here at the Brigade.
Jose on June 20th, 2008
Thank you, Derek. This is the post I wanted to make, but figured it would be too predictable. So instead, I went the sarcastic route, tounge firmly planted in cheek, and hoped people got the message. F Boston though… and F Bill Simmons - we get it, your’e nervous, whiney and annoying and watch way too much TV… congratulations