Sadly, MLS has taken down the video of Blanco punching someone on the field. Luckily, I have a far, far better soccer video to share with you.

Enjoy the antics of Sergei Shmolik of Belarus, voted best referee in the country last year. He spent an entire match in the center circle and appeared to have back pain. At the end of the match he was escorted off the field, and subsequent tests showed high levels of alcohol in his system.

Enjoy…

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Like I said, he’s an asshole.

Anyway, nine minutes after DC took a lead in overtime, Blanco approaches midfielder Clyde Simms and punches at the ball. Sorry, by “punches at the ball” I meant “wallops him in the stomach”. Sounds rational, right? DC defender Marc Burch had enough and side-checked Blanco into the ground. According to Burch, Blanco reacted by trying to “poke Clyde in the eye and cut his eye open”.

He was red-carded, obviously, and his night basically ended there. Oh, except for that he head-butted a DCU employee who encouraged him to leave the field after his ejection and may have tangled with a police officer or two. Apparently they had to lock him alone in his locker room. Man, I love soccer.

If any American athlete other than Ron Artest punched a player, head-butted a lowly team employee, and scuffled with police… well, just imagine it. Imagine A-Rod going bonkers, on the field. Personally, I would laugh. And ESPN would overload and self-destruct.

Anyway, I hope to have some good updates shortly, and while the allegations I describe are all from relatively anonymous sources (and the Washington Post), there were over 4,000 people who saw it, so I don’t think I’m losing any journalistic credibility or anything. And if I am, who freakin’ cares!? This is a blog!!! Hahahahaha.

You’ll find the juicy stuff 27 seconds in:

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Random Assortment of Thoughts:

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–Seattle… eerrrrr… Oklahoma City Sonics…. eerrrr… Bandits?? First thing: How much must it suck for the fans of a team when their city loses a franchise? I can’t even fathom this. If the Knicks left New York, I would cry nightly (unfortunately, if the Knicks stay in New York, I will also cry nightly). Honestly though, in the event of losing one of your favorite teams to relocation, what is the proper protocol? Do you continue to root for that team? After all, you probably have some sort of predilection towards the players, and this is the team you’ve always rooted for. Or, do you hate the owners that moved this team so much that you therefore hate everything about them; denounce the team that scorned you, throw all its CD’s out the window, burn all its jerseys while creepily chanting ritualistically, throw out all those old ticket stubs that you once gazed upon in nostalgic adoration as you bury your tears at the bottom of a bottle of Johnny. If the team not only moves, but changes its identity (as is the case with the Oklahoma City Bombers (too soon? too obvious?)), can you still feel any fondness towards them? Is it even still the same team? And finally, if you happen to stay loyal to your relocated franchise, and your city then gets an expansion or other relocated team… then what the hell do you do? Do you dump the one team? Do you root for two teams? Do you ignore the new team in your city?

This is all just so damned interesting to me that I took it to the streets. I interviewed (in round table discussion format) a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan (spurned by the now Baltimore Ravens, only to have another Browns team join their lives), a die hard Washington Senators fan (who had their team ripped from them not once but twice!!, only to have the Expos come to town- yikes), an LA Rams fan (who also really liked the Raiders), and the Charlotte Hornets #1 fan. If you didn’t realize that previous sentence was a lie after I pretended the Charlotte Hornets had fans, you are silly. Yet I can’t help but wonder… are there fans in Cleveland that root for the Ravens?… are there fans in Baltimore that root for the Colts?… any Laker fans in Minneapolis?… any Timberwolves fans in Minneapolis? (zing). And what, oh what will become of all those lonely Seattle Supersonics fans, who just one year ago, geared up for a nice long 15-20 years of Kevin Durant. Well Seattle… PSYCH!

(in an aside- It must really suck for fans of those teams that sucked when they were in town, only to leave town and become really good- especially if a new team comes to town, and subsequently continues the old team’s sucking ways. And so… Condolences to the aforementioned Cleveland Browns fans. I apologize, LA Rams fans. My heart cries for Minneapolis Laker fans. I light a candle for all you Quebec Nordiques crazies. I shed a tear for Charlotte Hornets fans… oh wait… they don’t exist. Yet to all the Vancouver Grizzly, San Diego Clipper, Montreal Expo, and St. Louis Cardinal (football) fans out there- I congratulate you, for you escaped with your lives)

–Brett Favre. Is anyone as sick of this guy as I am? Oh yea… everyone is. I don’t need to say much, just that, for the sake of everyone involved- fans, himself, the Packers, Aaron Rodgers- the guy needs to stay retired. He would look ridiculous, and it certainly couldn’t help his legacy (unless of course he won a championship). Leave well enough alone on this one Brett. Enjoy retirement, and continue wearing those lovely jeans.

–OK. We get it. The Devil Rays, excuse me, The Rays have never been any good, and they’re good this year. Please beat this dead horse of a story to death a little fuckin’ more, could you? If I hear one more “Are the Rays for real?” stories, or “Super impressive amazing happy time Rays” stories, I’m going to lose it. I’m rootin’ like hell for ‘em, don’t get me wrong on this, it’s just maddening how the media can get their hands on a good story and make me want to intentionally choke on my own vomit just so I won’t have to hear about it anymore. Let’s go Rays. Let’s go Dick Vitale. Let’s go Evan Longoria. Let’s go Troy Percival (who incidentally… I don’t know if you know this but… he is a great clubhouse leader. Some might even call him the “glue” of that clubhouse. I’m just guessing, I haven’t heard this 174 times). Let’s go Tropicana Field. Let’s go “exercising the Devils” (isn’t it amazing how many people use that clever pun). Let’s go little payrolls. Let’s go someone in the AL East not from Boston or NY. Let’s. Go. Rays. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer on this one, but fellow Shockey Brigade columnist, David, pointed this out to me the other day. I thought about it, and it pissed me off. All this being said… seriously, let’s go Rays.

– Have I mentioned how good Fernando Tatis is recently??

–Kudos to David on totally calling the C.C. Sabathia to Milwaukee deal. They look pretty dangerous right now, especially if they can get one more arm for that bullpen.

–Who else is super dee-duper excited about the Olympics? No one? Ok… no cream.

–Did anyone in America, including Josh Hamilton’s mother, actually watch the MLB All-Star selection show on TBS? Did anyone in America even know such a thing existed? I only knew because I happened to see a commercial for it whilst I was watching TBS one day (probably Family Guy). I’m sure this one had the advertisers foaming at the mouth at the very thought of this ratings frenzy. Not only do people generally not give a crap who makes the All-Star team (apart from players on their own teams), but anyone who did care probably could have waited the 5 minutes and checked it out on espn.com to take a look at the rosters. They will put absolutely any garbage on TV these days. And if you were wondering, I am, in fact, a bitter old man.

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